the end of one, the beginning of another

This blog has been accumulating too much past. too much past that it starts to ache my heart when i read it. i'm ending this post right here, and now.

but that doesn't mean i'll stop blogging. i'm beginning my new blog at:

update my links for those whu linked me k?

see you there!

the riNg

is this really a new beginning?
is this significant?
i don't know.

will i ever know her again like i use to?
or will there be a thousand secrets between us that i'll never find out?

i wish i could just bleed it all out.
the walls are just too high now.

fLasH fOrwaRD

While surfing the web, I came across a title of a series named ‘FlashForward’. It caught my attention, and I started downloading it right away. The series mainly revolves of a fictional incident of a global blackout. Everyone on the planet, every human being, lose consciousness for 2 minutes and 17 seconds. Well, that’s not all. While they blackout – every single man and woman and child caught a glimpse of the future exactly 6 months ahead prior to the event they called GBO; The Global Blackout – the single most disastrous event in the human history.

The GBO event results in the towering global death rate. Pilots lose consciousness while piloting aircrafts. Doctors lose consciousness during surgeries. Pile ups, traffic accident tolls up.

The tagline of the series is “What did you see?”. The entire human race lives in fear after the GBO event. Dead people are everywhere, but that’s not the most terrifying thing they have to deal with. It’s the 2 minutes and 17 seconds FlashForward to the future they’re most afraid of.

What if you saw your daughter who’d been dead for the past 2 years in your vision?

What if you saw you’re sleeping with another person, and he’s not your spouse?

What if you saw yourself happily walking down your wedding aisle?

What if you saw yourself being drowned by an unknown man?

What if you saw yourself strangling a stranger to death?

What if you saw NOTHING?

Some are afraid that their haunting visions come true. Some are afraid their happy vision won’t. The others have to deal with the possibility of not being able to survive the next 6 months for they did not see anything? Just darkness and emptiness. They cannot be sure why they did not have a vision of future like everyone else. They’re future unlike others are even darker, and scarier.

People begin to live with the awfully little knowledge of their own future. People began to lose trust that they should ‘live for today’ like they already did all their life. There are some who refused to believe the future is definite. Or is it not? Can they fight ‘fate’?

The story takes off with FBI agents trying to find out what actually causes GBO, and who’s behind it. Their investigation is ironically based on an agent’s FlashForward. Slowly, everything he saw in the future falls into place, causing the agents to believe that the future they’d seen in their vision are inevitable.

It’s a very interesting series to catch. I think it’s really worth the watch. Just one episode and it already took my breath away. It’s a thriller, but at certain scene, I find myself deeply touched. You guys should really watch this.

my fRee faLL

I free fall
Like jumping off the cliff
Wondering what to expect
When the fall finally ends

Soft cushion of flowers, or
Slow flowing rivers, or
Cold hard bed of stone?

But nothing seems to last forever
And I am surprise
By how things can change

Flowers turn to thorns
Cut my skin
And bruised my heart

Calm rivers suddenly run wild
I’m washed away
Drowned in my own sorrow

And if I ever fall on a bed of stone
And if I could only wish
I wish that the stone will be kind to me
Crumble into a sea of sand
And let me rest in peace
In its warm and tender coating

lonesomE time

Last month my mum and sister accompanied me almost all the time. When they’re not, Nana would’ve bugged me. Mr. Pua would’ve called and make use of his salesperson’s tone to make fun of me. For one full month, I was never truly alone.

I got back to Shah Alam with Eunice two days ago, and I intended my little sister to have fun on her short stay here. I drove her around here and there. I hope she’d be happy with her stay with me.
The truth is, I’d like her to release herself from the hook of stress.

While she’s around time moved at the speed of light, and I’m almost always talking and chatting away.
But when she left, suddenly time seems to crawl lazily. I’m left unoccupied.

Suddenly, there’s too much time until I drift away in my own sea of thoughts.
I distract myself with the Twilight Saga, and I tried to complete the CD I wanted to present to Nana on her birthday.

Now alone at Shah Alam, suddenly, collecting my results (I’d a precognition that it’ll turn out bad) on Saturday seems too long and too far away. Until Saturday, I don’t really have much to do.
In fact, I have NOTHING to do.

I hate being lonely like this.
And as much as I hate to admit this, I’m feeling emotional.
I hate this feeling equally as well.