lonesomE time

Last month my mum and sister accompanied me almost all the time. When they’re not, Nana would’ve bugged me. Mr. Pua would’ve called and make use of his salesperson’s tone to make fun of me. For one full month, I was never truly alone.

I got back to Shah Alam with Eunice two days ago, and I intended my little sister to have fun on her short stay here. I drove her around here and there. I hope she’d be happy with her stay with me.
The truth is, I’d like her to release herself from the hook of stress.

While she’s around time moved at the speed of light, and I’m almost always talking and chatting away.
But when she left, suddenly time seems to crawl lazily. I’m left unoccupied.

Suddenly, there’s too much time until I drift away in my own sea of thoughts.
I distract myself with the Twilight Saga, and I tried to complete the CD I wanted to present to Nana on her birthday.

Now alone at Shah Alam, suddenly, collecting my results (I’d a precognition that it’ll turn out bad) on Saturday seems too long and too far away. Until Saturday, I don’t really have much to do.
In fact, I have NOTHING to do.

I hate being lonely like this.
And as much as I hate to admit this, I’m feeling emotional.
I hate this feeling equally as well.

faKe

Previously on geNeceLL:
I was made to delete this post because some one said it's offensive.
But wad the heck? Re-posting it anyway. Since many already read it elsewhere, why not here kan?

I cannot understand how the mechanisms of some people’s brain work sometimes. How can they be so extremely fake? I always said I hated backstabbers. I hate the jab from the back. But this is totally different from what I’ve seen so far. So totally different.

This individual can laugh. This individual can smile. This individual knows how to get angry, and she definitely knows how to condemn. If you’d wronged her, then get ready for her judgment. She’ll ignore, she’ll condemn you behind your back, and deny it in front you with almost genuine anger. She hates to be questioned, no matter how questionable her actions might be. This individual sees faults in others. But one thing I’m sure, she’d never seen any error in herself.

The nice thing about confronting her would be the almost always imperfect excuses she gave. What she said never made any sense to me.
“I did not say that before.”
“I forgot.”

I do not believe in her words. I do not believe in the warmth she gave to people around her. Having listened to her cruel words bout some other people around me is okay. But seeing her being so nice to these people she spat on when she’d problems made me sick. She can happily laugh and smile to these people she condemn not so long ago.

She’d treated me nice before. But the more I think about it makes me wonder if her warmth is genuine at all. All she need was company. All she need was someone to talk to, no matter who it is. No matter how much she actually hates you. All she need is to own the world. She needs to make the world bow to her command. She wants the world to know how she felt. But she never bothers to care what the world’s feeling. A self centered individual.

Is her warmth and care earlier genuine after all? No. It’s all fake.

I am positive that she’ll spit on these people again. The very same people she spat on earlier and talked to nicely after. Soon, as soon as she got pissed off for her own lame reason. But it won’t be a problem after all. People always give in to her when she comes back with excitement in her voice and smile on her face. I lost trust in her smile. In fact, her excitement and smiles now make me sick.

maLas

Boring nyer!!!!
Actually aku mashih ader banyak lagi kerja yang perlu dibuat. Tapi aku duduk lepak jer main Bejeweled kat Facebook. Giler la. Patut aku duduk jer kerjakan project yang ade kat tangan, tapi aku malas. Mood untuk buat assignment atau project tak exist.

Karang plak aku bleh lepak blogging. Macam tak kenal masa. Dah la deadline dah dekat sume. Tak kenal maut.

Ahhhh!!!
Lantak la. Mandi dulu.
Assignment ngan project… Tengok ah camne nanti.

i reaLLy haTe BaTs

I really fucking hate bats. I don't know why, but I think they're building a lair in my balcony or something. Like they'd no better place to go?! No matter what we do they keep coming back!

And damn them, for having their senses all screwed up and getting killed in our house! It's like they hate us so damn much they came on a kamikaze suicidal mission. How, you asked me? they crash themselves to the fan, and got their limbs or head chopped off. Then I'm the one to CLEAN UP THE MESS!

This bloody idiot got one of its wings chopped of by the fan.

Oh, I just fucking hate bats! (Especially those idiotic suicidal ones!)

eXpecTatioNs

I’m having many problems lately. And one of them is meeting up with people’s expectations. Am I a doll or a dog? Why do I always have to meet up with people’s expectations? And who on earth told you I am what you expected me to be? You’re making a big mistake. I’m not Mr. Nice Guy and I’m an emotional dog-headed guy, got it?

I’d arguments with Amy, a housemate of mine recently. Although in truth the original matter does not concern me, her stubborn attitude made me burst off. And after a series of dumb arguments, I heard her saying this:

“I always expect you’re a gentleman. I always expect you would not bully girls. All the good images of you are wiped out from my mind after you smack the table yesterday.”

Oh God, please! I’d never consider myself a gentleman. Well Amy? You don’t know me. Consider me a devil. I bully girls ever since I was Form 1. I pulled their hair, I made them cry. No, I’m not a gentleman. I’m obviously nowhere near gentle. Well, ask my friends around me. How do I actually get to know them all? No sweet talk or gentle caress my dear. I play rough, all the time. When I’m not in the mood, I keep myself silent. If I’m happy, I’ll make noises that irritate everyone. If I’m angry, I shout and scream until my throat is sore. And I don’t do people’s expectations. If you had an expectation like “Eugene is a gentleman”, I’ll prove you otherwise. I believed people who knew me well would’ve said, “Eugene is only an emotional knucklehead and nothing more. He could’ve been dumb and stupid, but gentleman is totally out of the topic.”

Stop judging me using your expectations, people. Not just Amy, but many others as well.

Crap. I injured my head recently. And my head had been killing me even before I got injured. The external injury only doubles my pain. I lose my balance and I felt dizzy almost all the time. Having unnecessary quarrels and arguments tripled my pain. Having people judging me from their imaginary expectations? That would just multiply my pain by four. I had enough headaches already. I’m tired of arguments. Let me rest, you people. Let me rest.

boRing

Well, just wanted to blog bout my boring life in Shah Alam. To tell the truth, the subjects I’m taking this semester are terribly boring. Malaysian Studies and Moral Education? Mary and Joseph! That’s two dull subjects in one short semester! Unlike last semester which is full of practical, this semester is purely books and notes. This only means one thing: I’m a piece of dead meat. I read but it doesn’t really get into my head. The lectures are dull. I’m not saying these lecturers are of no good. But I really can’t pay attention to what they are trying to feed us with. Now I’m already worried of the quiz I’m going to face next week.

Lucky thing Suan came to Shah Alam and saved us from boredom, few days back. Well, we didn’t do much, but we sure had scary fun. Yeah, you heard me right. I said scary. We went to Bukit Tinggi’s Jusco. We went there because Suan told us she’d never been there. So off we go riding two bikes from Shah Alam to Klang. It wasn’t that far away anyway. The most is like 20-30 minutes ride. And that is, riding at a slow-mo speed at 40-60 km/h.

Well, it went well at first. We didn’t get lost like my first time riding there. Once we reach, we slowly decide what to do and so on. We watched ‘Street Kings’ there. We actually planned to watch Escape from Huang Shi. But due to its late show time, we changed our plan. But I don’t regret watching Street Kings. It’s hell of a nice movie. The theme is about dirty cops. Keanu Reeves as the main lead is nice, but somehow he still acts like he’s still in The Matrix. Or maybe, just maybe, he acts the same in all the movies he stars in. Anyway, how he acts doesn’t make the movie go bad. Forest Whitaker who acts as the main villain does a great job. I see him as an all rounder actor. Of course, he doesn’t acts like the same person in every movie like Keanu Reeves. Up to date, I loved his acting in every movie he stars in; no matter he played a major or a minor role. He played a robber in Panic Room; tourist in Vantage Point; and now a corrupted cop in Street Kings. He sure did impress me.
Ops, I went too far away from my main story already. Sorry~

So after movie, the Aj and Suan went shopping. I just followed around, and waited every time while they went disappearing into the fitting room 20 minutes, approximately. After they satisfy their lust for shopping, we decided to go home. That’s when we realize one of the tyres of Aj’s motorbike is punctured. That’s around 10 plus, if I remembered correctly. And we’re like plenty of kilometers away from Shah Alam! I started to panic. There’s no way on earth to find an operating motor shop that late hour. Aj seems so relaxed. When I asked her if she’d any good ideas, she suggested we just ride it back the way it is. Jesus, I guess she thought Suan had skills. I rather we not risk it, so we went to the nearest petrol station to see if we can get any kind of help at all. There, we met a Chinese guy who’s waiting there for people like us. Guess what? 30 bucks for a tube! We’re so desperate, so we agreed. The worst thing about that new tube is it punctures again two days later. He gave us some useless cheap tube in exchange of our 30 bucks. If I’d it change at the motor shop, it’s be 16 bucks for a quality tube. Definitely I won’t get some lousy two-days-tube.

Anyway, here’s some picture we took during Suan’s visit at Shah Alam.

Oh, I had my haircut yesterday. After struggling whether to cut or not, I finally did it.

This is how i looked like before my haircut.

As you can see, my hair’s a total mess. I’d thought about leaving my hair long, but I can’t stand how untidy it is! I don’t wanna look like a messy guy. And I’m too lazy to take care of it. So in the end, I decided to cut my hair. Two birds, one stone.

after the haircut.

So in the end, I get a clean tidy hair cut, and I looked a bit like a nerd now. Previously, some people commented my hair is identical to those gangster Ah Beng or Ah Seng. Wahaha.. I guess, not anymore. Ok la.. I’m kind of lazy to blog on. Feel like go Cabal a while. Recently, I’m addicted to this game. Until then, bye~

oH hujHan!

my exam is finally over. and i'd like to shout like, "WHHOOAAaaaaahhhh!!! At last, it's over!". juz for dis sem tho. next sem starts next month. but heck, i'd a whole month to relax here. HERE = MELAKA. i missed melaka food the whole lot. and better, i love the sunny day round here.

it's not like there's no sun at shah alam. it's just that i rained too damn much. dis week alone, i'm trapped in the middle of the rain, like 3-4 times? i mean, come'on, 4 times in 7 days? wet and drippin as i enter my apartment's door and everyone looked at me with that kinda look dat says "hey? what happened to you? you bathe out there in the streets?". i just hate that. being wet, i just hate that.

i dun really remember whch specific day, but should be just a few days ago.. i was itching to explore. so i told aj lets go find that Jusco at Klang. the newer one and bukit tinggi? so with aj's EX5, we rode slowly. taking federal highway, and finally my great sense of direction gets us lost in the Klang town. boh pian. as the malay saying goes, "malu bertanya, sesat jalan". what to do? at that moment i memang sesat d. so memang kena tanya ady lo. i asked 1 motorcyclist at one of the traffic lights. he pointed a road right in front of me, and i missed it! then at the next traffic light, he saw me again. he volunteered to guide me to bukit bintang. never thought it would be that far away. and before he leave, he suddenly asked me which part of Melaka I'm from! he muz'd guess our origin by the plat number of aj's bike. he then told me he's a Malacan too. wanted to gave him some petrol money, but he rejected it. that malay guy is such a Good Samaritan. not to mentioned that it's drizzling already that moment he offered us his help. i wanted to thank that Abang here again! anyway, the point is, i went there to catch "Mist", in a "semi-wet" condition.

not bad enough? ok oh, what a bout having an exam at 8.30am, leaving my doorstep at 7.50am, just to be POURED down all of sudden, stop at petronas petrol station and called a taxi to go to my college? yea. and that examiner looked at me like "why are you drippin wet?". not to mentioned, that cab was late, thus i was late. by almost 20minutes. and i shivered until i finished that exam. that was like 2 and a half hour shivering in the examination room.

and the other day, i went dinner with aj, chanel and szemun. we rode motorbikes to Section 2. all because we were craving for satay. whahaha.. that satays were absolutely yummy! the rain were heavy too. duh. we were lucky it appened after the dinner. chanel and szemun had exam the next day, so in their attemp to act as hardworkin and responsible students, they brought their notes along. their notes eventually transformed into kiam chai and washed out. all for the addiction of satay. haha..

the worse of all? yesterday. i and aj planned to, you know, walk around, catch a movie and such? exam's finaly over. i just wanted to relax a lil. so, we planned to go sunway. since it's not too far away from my apartment. manatau that the clear sky can turned into darksky just within seconds and started pouring. and guess wat lucky thing we're just in time to hide under a tunnel for a good 20 minutes or so, before aj gets real wet. well, aj's safe. juz sleeves which were wet. for me whose sitting in front of her riding, i'm just not that lucky. i'm wet. not that bad kinda wet. just, you know, go to sunway after rain stop to get a cheap t-shirt. that kinda wet. oh gosh. i'm shivering in there, while watching "Fatal Move"!

the bottom line is, shah alam is a humid wet place. and, i'm so glad i'm in melaka.